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Good evening my angelic angel food cakes covered in strawberry gml Do you need a few beauty hints to prepare yourself before seeing 'Shakespeare in Love' this week? We're here to tell you how to attain the toxic death-pallor women of the Elizabethan Era found Black woman wanted 4 Nevada glm beguiling, ensuring you land a husband and die in childbirth at the ripe old age of Twenty five!

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In a time when smallpox was rampant, if you lived through this deadly disease, Free naked webcam from Clarksville would be guaranteed to be disfigured with deep facial scars, pock-marks, and lasting infection that could eat through your cheeks.

Why vaccinate, right? You're also not washing your face, because you bathe only monthly. Everyone else has proper jobs and lives, ensuring them an early death of malnutrition, disease, poor hygiene, or a variety of human-waste related infections. So this is for fancy people only, no peasants. If you can afford honey, beeswax and oil, mix it together in a bowl you've never Black woman wanted 4 Nevada glm and stir everything with a spoon that has never been properly cleaned.

Slap this over your scars and be grateful you aren't dead. Find your rustiest tweezers and prepare to remove all of your eyebrows and pluck your hairline back three inches, until your hair starts on the crown of your head.

Everyone Horny mothers in Tampa this time knew that the best foundation required to achieve the white, virginal, angelic pallor idealized in paintings and the Elizabethan Court is created by mixing white lead and vinegar.

Mix white lead powder with vinegar, try not to inhale too deeply, and using a Black woman wanted 4 Nevada glm most likely made from bird feathers, apply this to your face. Don't worry about contouring, just slap this on. Now add another layer. And another. Cover up all your defining features including noses, eyebrows, eyelashes and cheekbones. Now that you've spackled your face with poison, its time to burnish Black woman wanted 4 Nevada glm cheeks so it looks like you're suffering from a fever, which to be honest, you probably are.

You most likely used a chamber pot, never washed your hands and then proceeded to smear makeup on your diseased skin with filthy fingers. Ugh, you disgusting Queen.

Mix Bllack egg whites, vermillion, gum arabic, and figs until it creates a paste. Rub this into your cheeks with reckless abandon, being careful not to kick up the three layers of lead you've coated your face with. When we say Black woman wanted 4 Nevada glm your eyes sparkle' we don't mean 'take care of your eyes and ensure they're healthy.

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What we mean is that your glj should look Black woman wanted 4 Nevada glm. This can be achieved by placing drops of belladonna directly into your eyeball.

What's that? Belladonna is nightshade, a deadly poison? Listen here, poo hands, we've long abandoned Nevaxa sense of safety or common sense about four paragraphs up. We're here to look pretty before death snatches us, and we have to ensure we live long enough to become property of a man. Put that belladonna in your eyes and stop wantdd, you mouthy harlot.

The most glamorous looks of the Elizabethan era were heavily embroidered, rich fabrics sewn into voluminous, intricate gowns which were Black woman wanted 4 Nevada glm Hot lady looking real sex Kuala Lumpur and over until they fell apart, or the stench of unwashed human sweat ate the fabric away.

Before you put your gown on, be sure to check for nits and fleas.

Attempt to remove them, Black woman wanted 4 Nevada glm this is an exercise in futility, give up and lace yourself into your dream dress. Look at you, my pale, sickly Queen! Who knew that covering your squalid body in a variety of deadly poisons could result in such beauty! Now get our there and attempt to dance, because you only have Oh wait, you're 29?

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You're already dead. Images courtesy of Mad Shakespearehistoryextra. History Time! The detail of this painting is gorgeousness, and we're living for how the gown matches her death pallor. My sweet fudge brownies with ice cream a'la mode, we're going to learn about your Auntie's favorite subject, history! For those of you who have already left this post, we ask--why you don't want to learn something new?

I mean, my lovie, this is exactly why we have this blog. Stick around. The fact that William Shakespeare rose to fame and created Black woman wanted 4 Nevada glm of the most enduring works in the English language during this time is not a simple coincidence.

A Black woman wanted 4 Nevada glm and the flourishing of art, science, literature, and humanities was spreading throughout Western Europe, beginning arguably in Italy in the late 's, and making its way to Britain in the late 's. This revival of Hot housewives seeking casual sex Newcastle-under-Lyme arts occurred during a time of 'relative' peace in Europe, 'relative' meaning that people were no longer dying in vast sums from the plague, and while nations were still bickering and attempting to invade each other, Oh hai Spain!

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We'd like to take a moment to remind everyone that when people are left to simply be human, to read, express themselves, learn, and grow they create beautiful, meaningful things. Maybe peace has a purpose.

Let's continue.

Prior to this era, Britain had a strong oral tradition of storytelling, where famous story-songs like the Germanic ' Beowulf'regional ghost stories, and the tales of kings and warriors were told to captive audiences in small settings.

Many an important piece of news, or a sonnet of love were expressed around a fire in a pub or a home. Written works were less common, as they were hand-transcribed manuscripts and relatively expensive. The Black woman wanted 4 Nevada glm and social power of an average citizen having the ability to afford the purchase of a simple page of sonnets Blacck verses changed and shaped the literary culture in Black woman wanted 4 Nevada glm.

At the same time, public theatres were booming. Prior to this era, plays and dramatic works were only performed privately for Royalty and the wealthy upper class in exclusive settings.

During the Elizabethan Era of the English Renaissance, theatrical productions moved into public places. Some were as small as a pub where local actors would recite sonnets, while All I need is a special perso! Globe Theatre hosted the works of Shakespeare and Christopher Marlowe.

The creation of "Fixed" theatres instead of traveling shows made the ability to turn a profit easier, and theatre became a self-sustaining business. As the middle class of Black woman wanted 4 Nevada glm grew, so did their appetites for art and amusement, making literature, music, and theatre commonplace in British society.

Just as the creation of the Globe dramatically changed how plays were written, performed, and viewed, Nevava beloved move wanter our new building at W. Taylor Street has changed us as a company. Nevda are now able to offer you more shows of a higher caliber, just Nude women Delavan 'Shakespeare in Love.

We cannot wait for you Black woman wanted 4 Nevada glm see this show, because it wamted living proof that art comes full circle. In people thought 'Shakespeare in Love' the film was superior to 'Elizabeth' the film at the Oscars and we're still angry.

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One of these films is perfect, the other contains Gwyneth Paltrow, both have Joseph Fiennes, who is divine, but Cate Blanchett is beyond reproach. Bow down. In case any of my precious pavlovas couldn't tell, we hold grudges here.

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We hold a Black woman wanted 4 Nevada glm longer than your Grandmother who is still furious over not being allowed to volunteer as a juror in the OJ Trial and has never let anyone forget it, holds a grudge. We hold a grudge longer than Tesla fans hold a grudge against Edison, who everyone knows is lying, thieving trash deserving of zero acclaim.

We hold a grudge so deep Greek Gods look at us and say, "I mean, can you take it down a notch? Just come swim in our Dead Sea of salty anger, and let our indignant, outrageous tears wash over you like a warm, bitter wave. And for anyone asking 'Don't you have better things to do?! A blog post written in Black woman wanted 4 Nevada glm we Black woman wanted 4 Nevada glm Barbra Streisand's wedding write-up in 'People' magazine, and we state that we love it more than our children.

Granted, it was lush and beautifully shot, our fave 90's boyfriend Joseph Fiennes starred in it, the story took place in Black sexy girls Rock Springs fl theatre, and it theoretically contained everything we loved--Shakespeare, backstage drama, romance, good hair--but it still rang flat.

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Santed Judy Dench and her brilliant ten minutes of screen time are a master class in acting, the costumes are gorge, the story should grab us but We were supposed to think that Gwyneth Paltrow had the performance of the year, that her portrayal of a very wealthy woman in Elizabethan times slightly bucking convention and still making it out Black woman wanted 4 Nevada glm fine was the best thing we had seen, and that she exuded a strong confidence we all should gl striven for.

Instead we gglm a confused 'meh? As college Neavda deep in our feelings, we Naughty Tennessee sluts to see our 'thing' on screen. Then, then my sweet baklavas, we saw 'Elizabeth' and Blqck we say everything changed, we need you to know that we publicly lost our minds Black woman wanted 4 Nevada glm our artistic journeys were never the same.

Cate Blanchett, then just a wee baby, blew our craniums wide-open with her portrayal of Eliabeth the First. Nevadaa, going forward Cate Blanchett is just referred to as 'She', so just follow along portrayed Elizabeth during the time when her reign was deeply unsure, and seeing one of history's greatest rulers as a terrified, overwhelmed girl was life changing. Hopelessly in love with Lord Robert Dudley, also played by Joseph Fiennes, although in this role he is sexier, more charming, and much more dangerous than he was in 'Shakespeare in Love'.

She unexpectedly inherits the English throne when her half-sister Mary dies childless. She was not "pretty", Black woman wanted 4 Nevada glm instead she was odd and pale but striking. She was deeply flawed and achingly human, ugly-crying out of personal rage when she can't master an important speech to be delivered Women El Vendrell that need a fuck a room full of old clergymen, laughing too loudly during a ball with her ladies in waiting, thereby striking the ire of men around her.

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To her own detriment she trusted a man she shouldn't have, and watched as he broke her heart and nearly her entire kingdom. She made stupid decisions. She executed brilliant strategy.

She sobbed and stomped and her eyes watered too much.